March 2, 2010

Justify My Netflix: Deception (2008)

(Like many Netflix customers, I too can get quite lax with the timely watching and returning of my movies, which of course defeats the entire purpose of having a flat-rate rental plan in the first place. To combat that, I am now writing standardized mini-reviews of each and every movie I end up watching through Netflix, both instantly and on DVD. Don't forget, all previous 'Justify My Netflix' reviews can be found on CCLaP's main movie page.)

Deception (2008)

Today's movie: Deception, 2008 (Amazon | IMDB | Netflix | Wikipedia)

Why I added it to my queue: Because I knew that this low-budget erotic thriller starring Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor was fated to be ridiculously stupid, but is based on a premise that I found literally impossible to resist -- namely, successful yuppie is invited into ultra-elite circle of good-looking anonymous urban swingers, which is then used as a backdrop for a noirish murder mystery. Oh, God help me.

The reality: Yep, it was ridiculously stupid! In fact, perhaps it'd be easier just to quote you a rant I found myself shouting at my television screen about halfway through this movie, in order to prove just how terrible it actually is:

"Okay, let me get this straight. Jackman's character went to the trouble of printing fake business cards, buying the same exact phone as McGregor's character, hanging around a law firm he doesn't work at in the middle of the night without getting busted, and even lighting a joint in their controlled-climate boardroom, all so he could gain the trust of McGregor? All as an excuse to have lunch with him a week later, during which Jackman arranges to receive a phone call, on the off-chance that McGregor will take his phone out too and leave it on the table afterwards, so that Jackman can grab the wrong one as he leaves, giving McGregor the opportunity to sneak into this crazy supermodel swinger sex club under false pretenses, which he does without even the slightest ethical hesitation? And all of this reliant on an even more unlikely scenario, that McGregor will break one of the club's cardinal rules and start a romantic relationship with one of the other members? And fall so in love with her in just a week that he's willing to commit several international felonies just to ensure her safety, which he can't actually ensure since she's being held by a psychopath in an unknown location? When all Jackman REALLY had to do to put this plan in motion was strike up a random conversation with McGregor one night at a pub? NOW DAT'S A LUDICROUS PREMISE, I TELLS YA!"

In fact, it's pretty safe to say that it's only the inclusion of such slumming actors here as Jackman, McGregor, Charlotte Rampling and Michelle Williams that makes the movie even watchable in any way whatsoever; although how four stars of such talent were even convinced to be in a movie this bad in the first place is way beyond me. Imminently skippable, especially considering that it contains so little sex as to barely qualify as an erotic thriller to begin with.

Worth your time? Oh, dear Lord, no

Filed by Jason Pettus at 8:35 AM, March 2, 2010. Filed under: Movies | Reviews |